Confused

Sometimes I'm so glad for my family but it can get really overbearing when we are this tight knit.

My days have been horrible. Just spending the bulk of my days waiting on people, only to have them give me a few moments of attention before looking elsewhere. 

I don't understand what made me choose to be 2nd fiddle. I should have seen this coming, but nothing could prepare me for this emptiness I feel. To be led on thinking that something could have materialized from this, only to be shown what empty words really are. Told myself I have to toughen up, but seems like I'm really not as strong as I think I am. I really am not cut out for this wait-on-you-till-you-decide-you-have-time-for-me kinda bullcrap. 

Just wish everyone had a little more time for me. And also wished I didn't dive into this head first right from the start, cuz look where I am, miserable and all. Just giving more, feeling more and crying more than I should. Don't have the guts to end this, but lack the strength to continue it. 

Every time, I wish for a little something different but this time, I know it was all my own doing and I have the right to turn things around. But what if, the past isn't what I yearn for?

Baby, please come back to me.