Be mine

2nd last day of 2013 but I just spent the night crying for people.

I see what it means to be giving and caring more for someone else who is unsure, who can't decide if they want you to be theirs, then I think, "I'm not that bad. These people had/have it worse."

I don't know what I'm feeling. I can't decide between suppressing all these damn thoughts or releasing the floodgates. I can't tell if I'm happier or really losing it. 

Have you ever felt so miserable, you feel like something inside you is seeping through your skins and begging to be let out? Like you want to be anything but a whole. If your heart is breaking, let it shatter. 

He asked me, "What's wrong? Please tell me, let me share your pain." But I can't, and I won't. I'm gonna be alone in this. How can anyone understand your sins? After all these, how can anyone tell me what I did was okay and it's gonna be alright?

I can't wait till the day I can finally look at you and feel nothing - no happiness, no anger, no sadness, no nothing. But I also look forward till the day I'm yours.