Visuals II : Bangkok

kya kya unknowingly did the same pose. me ish poser!

Think you're suppose to make a wish in every single bowl but everytime I dropped a coin I went "Doink" and couldn't think of anything else.

WOAH $$ TREE I WANT O.O

He says this pose is matrep style. But I think as long as there's him in the photo it's considered matrep.

My favourite-st photo! Super dupez cute pepper holder awwww

Went crazy @ Watson's and bought SGD$100+ worth of things :/

Watched the dog poop on the road and run away and let other cars run over it with the sound of "piak piak piak" ewwww

My boy grew nipples. haha no la tissue nia...

They don't use ezlink but this black token to TAP on the machine sho weirdzzz

See! The train has mirror windows so you can constantly check yourself out. I likey.

Bird Nest

Awesome Mojito

Have you ever felt like people are constantly putting you down? I'm sure you have.

For me, it's my mum. 

Every damn day (if not alternate days) she will tell me how fat I am, how I have such a huge tummy, how I am probably bigger sized than her now, how I look ugly in photos, how I eat so much, how I... EVERYTHING. 

I honestly have had enough. 

Today she wanted to tell me that I no longer look nice in the clothes I used to look nice in and blahblahblah but HAVE I NOT HEARD ENOUGH?!?!

If my boyfriend is okay with it why does it bother you how much weight I have put on?! Sure maybe sometimes he may say that he prefers a slimmer me and I am fine with that 'cuz he doesn't say it often. But I don't have to listen to you REMIND me how fat I am almost every day right? 

It's my own body and I know it's changing but what I do with it is honestly not your problem!

Usually I will probably be motivated to lose weight if someone I'm close or not close to tells me ONCE that I'm putting on weight. But you've made me come to a point where I am not a least bit motivated whenever I hear the word "fat". Instead it leaves me wondering when will the next time be that I get another "demoralizing and ego-hurting" session from you. Sometimes I feel like turning bullimic (not anorexic there's a diff) or be obese just to agitate you further and make you regret everything you've ever said.
Every single time someone says "Eh Shermaine, you seem to have lost weight", you will come to my rescue and say "Aiya no la! She put on so much weight already, now so fat!". It's as though you are mechanised to repeat these words everytime that happens. & you probably feel better when someone tells me I've gained weight 'cuz you'll definitely go "See, I told you." like finally someone agrees with you.

If you really care for me, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't let me hear you call me fat anymore in my entire life until I get pregnant. I swear you are driving me crazzzzzzy. You don't seem to know how much it affects especially since I'm a person who hates getting put down.

I know these words do not seem impactful enough to strike a chord with any of you, neither will it make my mum feel guilty but I honestly am... I don't know how you describe this feeling. It's like your ego has been ripped apart, choked-slammed to the ground and stepped on a million times and you feel like her only goal in life is to put you down and you feel fucking helpless. 

Okay, enough.