My motivation

You know how sometimes in life you feel misunderstood all of a sudden? Like how every supposed 'good' action you do surprises people 'cuz they've always viewed you as a bad egg. It's hard to look at me and think I was once a teachers' pet, no kiddin'. Yet now, I don't know if it's puberty or a mini big bang in my dna that has made me become the rebel kid. I couldn't care less of what my teacher wants me to do. And the classmates who are constantly complaining of too little homework or pressing me to go collect the new set of notes "if not I can help you do it" pisses me off. They are not wrong, but them being constantly uptight about their studies just makes me... I dunno... irked (and this is an understatement).But then again is it just that I'm suffering from that 'inferior complexity' thing? Like how I know I'll never be able to catch up with my homework like them and would most probably lose to them when the 'A's approaches? In class, I'm perhaps the (almost near there) worst student in terms of behaviour. If I wanna pon a lesson, I probably would, I come to school late, I talk back, I wouldn't give 2 hoots about what teachers (I don't like) say and now... My teachers wanna see my parents. Haha! Out of 5 teachers, 2 requested to see them and if you asked the other teachers, I believe they would wanna see my parents too, esp the Physics teacher. I know for sure I've worked twice as hard in JC as I ever had in sec4 yet none of this supposed hardwork is rubbing off on to my scripts. I'm still the slowly-improving-but-not-fast-enough student. I don't wanna disappoint in the 'A's again. I'm still trying to work on the attitude.
I remembered after getting back my 'O's results I went looking @ JCs I couldn't go to and I saw friends and seniors and some directly and indirectly insulted me and commented on how lousy my results were that I couldn't even get into their school. I went home and cried. Gosh I'll tell you, that feeling sucked balls for sure and even for an insensitive person like myself, their insensitivity was too much for me to bare. I've been using this as my motivation but obviously it has not been acting much of it's purpose anyway.
I also remembered how my 'good friend' not only did not congratulate me when I surpassed my expectations in an exam but made snide remarks behind my back on how it was disappointing she'd gotten the same results as me and not higher. Gawd grow up! You did not meet the teacher's requirements, DEAL WITH IT LOSER.

SO... anyways do you wanna share on how you motivate yourself? And hopefully my story kinda motivated you. [Don't be like me] 'Cuz if you don't work hard, no one's gonna suffer but yourself and everyone's gonna laugh @ your failure plus you never know who are the friends who will laugh and cry with you... You see the light, even if it's only a dim wavering light, work towards it even if there are 100 people more alongside fighting towards it too 'cuz if you don't you're just gonna be left standing in the dark.

PS. This post is just a reminder for me to lose the attitude and what I wanna work towards to.