Slaughter house

Recently, home has been a dreadful place. To come home to be greeted (or not greeted) by black faces, interrogation, accusations and whatnot, this is what I dread coming home to. The only time I appreciate being home is when there's no one around. Times like these I'm glad I've got dance everyday to keep me out till late. 

Home is supposed to be where the heart is right? But what if home is where you feel unhappiest at? Even if you were to feel sad, you'd feel happier being sad outside than at home? If you were angry, you'd would rather be fuming outdoors than at home? I don't know how it has come to this. I cannot drop my persona at the door and come home to warmth. I have to carry my problems home and have these problems slapped back at my face. 

Never thought I'd say this but the thought of moving out to live with Tien seems so much of a better idea than staying here 😔 

Typing this with full knowledge of the consequences - my mum reading this post then telling my dad before confronting me (esp the part about me wanting to move out). But does it matter where I write my thoughts anyway? When I can write in my diary, express my displeasure on Twitter or give a lengthy post about my unhappiness on Facebook but it'll be read by her anyway? 

So many things to be unhappy about. So many solutions my friends have given me. But no one understands the extremity of this relationship I share with my mum. It is definitely not a relationship between Tien & I. It's a relationship between my mum, Tien & I. I cannot solve my problems w Tien without compulsory "external advice".

Alright, off for a breather with DWZ to Batam!!! Wish I could leave my problems on this island, and travel abroad a happier person.... But I am already a happier person, as long as I'm not at home.