Because in Autumn, the leaves wither and in Winter, no one comes out to play.

I realise in life, you don't always have to change the perception people have of you. I always hated and wondered why the characters in drama serials when confronted or get accused of something they didn't do, refuse to tell people the truth, tell them that they didn't do it. 
I've had many people have different views on me mostly bad and there has been incidents that has stained my reputation (not that it was ever good to begin with) so now everything I do, people love to relate back. But now when I'm handed the opportunity to really tell my side of the story, I don't wish to do so. I guess, I kinda know why. Partly 'cuz I don't wanna rake things up but mainly 'cuz I don't really see a point. Since people will always have different perceptions of you and would most likely spread their impression of you to others (it's like a contagious thing), coming clean will not change this impression they have of you.
Through the things I type, the way I look or what people say, you will never know who I am and even a 5 min conversation with me will hardly show who I am. Sometimes it's painful to know that I have not figured myself out. I don't understand why I'm so selfish (not that everyone else isn't just that I feel I am more so), why I'm so judgemental and why I react the way I do. Yknow, everytime something serious happens, I will cry or get angry but it will fizzle off after awhile and I will start laughing. I think I just hate to cry and laughing helps alleviate the situation in my opinion and more often than not, it comes across to people as me being reallly insensitive. And yeah I think I am. I don't like to feel what people feel when they are sad which makes me have a really bad listening ear (partially due to my bad hearing too) and also why I do not like to console people.
Damn I hate the way I are.
And I know the day that I cry till my tears are dry will only be the day I am truly sad. It happened once and I don't want it to happen again in a long while.
I also know, that girls are always at the losing end physically mentally and rumour-ally. The finger will never be pointed @ the guy and girls can bitchfight over guys and cause lotsa hurt to one another but no one will ever blame the guy for starting all that mess for as long as he sits by and does nothing to stop the fight. And in my term, that is what I call a pathetic loser son of a bitch who should burn in hell.
Come on girls, Girl Power! Why do we allow the guy to cheat on us and have fun while we lock ourselves in our rooms and cry the shit outta us 'cuz in fact he doesn't really care.
Remember, if a guy can cheat on us once, he'll do it again for sure!